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As the holidays come to an end, the new year may bring mixed emotions. Stepping into another year without your loved one can feel daunting. However, it also offers a chance to reflect, honor your journey, and begin to envision a hopeful future.

Reflect on Your Journey

Take pride in the strength and courage you’ve shown in these tender moments navigating the delicate balance between grief and celebration. Acknowledge your resilience and the steps you’ve taken, no matter how small.

Set Gentle Intentions

Instead of resolutions, consider intentions like:

• “I will be kind to myself on hard days.”
• Make an effort to stay in touch with friends who understand
• Keep going doing the different modes of therapy and healing
• Don’t be afraid to keep talking about your loved one on how much you miss him/her. This was very important to me.
• Try journaling, even if it’s just writing one word a day. You will be surprised how these words will evolve over time.
• Say “I will honor my loved one by living fully.” Believe it! Remember, you carry that person and their love with you on this journey, because they lived.

Carry Their Legacy Forward

Incorporate their values into your life, whether by volunteering, dedicating achievements to their memory, or sharing their stories.

Seek Support When Needed

If the new year feels particularly hard, “lean on and lean in” to trusted friends, support groups, or professional guidance.

Embrace the Possibility of Hope

Hope doesn’t mean forgetting your grief. It means believing in the possibility of joy, love, and meaning again. Hope can begin when the mind begins to see a future. One of my Peer Facilitators said this. “I can’t change what happened, but I can choose which new paths I will follow and in which direction I will move. I now move forward filled with hope, love, and enthusiasm for life.”

Give yourself the GIFT OF HOPE!

I hope this series Coping with the Holidays has been helpful and provided some comfort and guidance to you, a family member or a friend.

www.hopeandhealingwithpeers.com

Grief can make it hard to imagine feeling joy during the holidays. You might feel conflicted—how can you smile or feel grateful when someone you love is gone? Remember, joy is not a betrayal of your loved one; it’s part of being human.

Embrace Small Joys

Notice simple moments of beauty, like twinkling lights, a favorite song, or a warm blanket. Let yourself enjoy these small comforts. Self-Care!

Give Yourself Permission to Feel Joy

You might feel guilty for moments of happiness. But joy doesn’t mean forgetting your loved one—it honors the life you’re still living. Feeling moments of happiness and joy are part of your healing and you are honoring your loved one.

Practice Gratitude

Gratitude can coexist with grief. Write down one thing each day that brings comfort, or reflect on the love and support in your life.

Create Joyful Moments in Their Memory

Engage in activities that they loved or find new ways to celebrate them. Whether it’s baking their favorite cookies or volunteering, these moments can feel connected to them.

Share Joy with Others

Spreading kindness—whether through a thoughtful note, volunteering, or a small act of kindness—can create unexpected joy.

Social gatherings during the holidays can be especially difficult when you’re grieving. Being surrounded by others who may not understand your pain, or encountering traditions that feel incomplete without your loved one, can bring anxiety or sadness.

Decide What Feels Right for You

It’s okay to decline invitations or leave early if a gathering feels overwhelming. You can even share in advance: “I’d love to join, but I might not stay the whole time.”

Create an Exit Plan

If you do attend a gathering, have an exit plan. Drive separately or plan a code word with someone you trust, so you can leave when you need to.

Honor Your Feelings

If tears come or you feel a wave of sadness, let it happen. Your emotions are valid and a natural part of grieving.

Bring Their Memory into the Gathering

Consider subtle ways to include your loved one:
– Share a favorite memory or story.
– Toast in their honor.
– Bring a dish they loved to the event.

Remember they shared your life, keeping their memory alive not only helps you, but others who loved that person.

Balance Connection with Solitude

You may crave connection at times and solitude at others. Listen to what you need and adjust accordingly.  When these feelings arise go with what feels right to you-this is part of self-care.

When someone we love is no longer here to celebrate the holidays with us, their absence can feel even more profound. However, the love and memories they gave us don’t disappear they remain part of who we are. Finding ways to honor your loved one can be a comforting way to keep their spirit alive.

Create a Special Ritual

Rituals provide structure to our grief. You might:
– Light a candle in their memory.
– Set up a special ornament or decoration in their honor.
– Write them a letter expressing your feelings.

Carry on a Tradition They Loved

Was there a holiday activity or dish they adored? Continuing these traditions can feel like sharing the season with them. My husband loved Baklava which I always made at Christmas and I continued to make it in his memory over the next few years.

Make New Traditions in Their Honor

Start something fresh, like donating to a cause they cared about, volunteering in their memory, or creating a “memory jar” for family to contribute to.

Share Stories and Memories

Talking about your loved one can keep their memory alive. Sharing stories or inviting others to contribute memories can deepen the connection. During that first Thanksgiving while we were gathered around the table each person shared a memory, usually a funny story about my husband and also my mom as she had died the year before. This helped so much because it removed “The Elephant in the Room.”

Give Yourself Grace

Honoring your loved one should feel right for you. Go at your own pace and adjust as needed.