This series is designed to provide comfort, guidance, and hope for those navigating the holiday season after the loss of a loved one. Each week we will focus on a different aspect of coping and healing.
Week 1: Acknowledging the Pain of the Holidays
The holiday season is often described as the “most wonderful time of the year.” But for those of us grieving the loss of someone we love, it can feel anything but wonderful. The familiar traditions, the festive music, even the twinkling lights can stir feelings of sadness, loneliness, and longing. It’s okay to feel this way.
Grief has no timeline, and the holidays often intensify the ache of absence. Memories of past celebrations can bring both comfort and pain, leaving us wondering how we’ll face the season without them. The truth is, it’s normal to feel overwhelmed by the emotions that arise during this time of year.
Be Honest with Yourself and Others
You don’t have to force yourself to “be okay” or pretend to feel festive. It’s important to give yourself permission to grieve and to acknowledge how you’re truly feeling. Share your emotions with trusted friends or family members who will listen without judgment.
If someone asks how you’re doing, it’s okay to be honest. You might say, “I’m finding the holidays to be really challenging this year.”
Set Realistic Expectations
You don’t have to do everything you’ve always done. It’s okay to skip certain traditions or simplify your plans if they feel too overwhelming. Take each day as it comes and allow yourself to say no to anything that feels too much. My first Thanksgiving was held at my brother’s home and without that added pressure, getting through that first holiday was a little easier.
Take Care of Yourself
Grief takes a toll on both the body and mind, so be gentle with yourself. Make space for rest, moments of quiet, or activities that bring you a sense of peace. Whether it’s a short walk, journaling your feelings, or simply sitting with a cup of tea, these small acts of self-care can make a difference.
You’re Not Alone
Above all, remember that you’re not alone in this. Many people struggle with the holidays after a loss. Reaching out to others who understand, whether through a support group or a trusted friend, can be a source of comfort and strength.
This holiday season may not be the same as it was, and that’s okay. Acknowledging the pain is the first step toward finding your way through it.
